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Kids, Don't Try This at Home

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(The Erotic, the Kinky, the Tacky, and the possibly Perverted - 192 questions)

1. Have you:been a member of a fraternity or sorority?
2. said 'I'm normal, its everyone else that's weird'?
3. told dirty jokes in mixed company?
4. discussed masturbation?
5. french kissed below the waist?
6. discussed oral sex techniques (In general, not as part of a lesson)?
7. asked for instructions in oral sex techniques (again, lecture not lab)?
8. given lessons in oral sex techniques ('I'm only going to do this once, so pay attention!')?
9. demonstrated oral sex techniques with a 'visual aid' (carrot, cucumber, taco, etc.)?
10. demonstrated oral sex techniques with an assistant?
11. been the assistant?
12. had someone practice oral sex on you so as to be better for someone else?
13. demonstrated oral sex techniques for more than one person at a time?
14. smelled the crotchpiece of underwear (how else can you know if it's clean or not?)?
15. smelled the crotchpiece of underwear that was worn by somebody else?
16. owned a collection of underwear not your own?
17. been attracted to someone more by an article of their clothing than by their body?
18. been a voyeur (without their knowledge)?
19. accepted an invitation to watch?
20. made an invitation to watch?
21. been in public while wearing just a shirt but no pants?
22. disrobed in public?
23. been to a nude beach?
24. sunned your buns or tanned your can?
25. paraded about in the nude (sprints don't count, nor does while searching for undies)?
26. been sad because someone you knew was getting married?
27. been sad because someone you knew was getting married and now you'd never get to sleep with them?
28. used your hair for the sexual arousal of others (beards count)?
29. searched for the G-spot?
30. searched for the G-spot and found it (you stud)?
31. told him he had when he hadn't but you just wanted him out?
32. rooted for the Klingons?
33. felt sad because Skywalker killed the Emperor?
34. rooted for the Wicked Witch?
35. contemplated the political, social and geometric possibilities of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?
36. wondered where Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty to wake her up?
37. wondered about the sex life of Smurfette (the only female on the whole damn show)?
38. accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender?
39. accidentally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender, not realizing it till you were through?
40. intentionally entered a public restroom of the opposite gender (how else can you read the graffiti)?
41. won the pig pen award for your floor, dorm, fraternity/sorority, college or state?
42. pissed on an electric fence?
43. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your bod to the general public (without pay, topless dancing doesn't count)?
44. streaked, flashed or otherwise intentionally displayed your bod to the general public as part of the job (modeling doesn't count)?
45. posed nude or semi nude for private drawings, paintings or photographs as a 'favor'?
46. posed nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art classes) as a 'favor'?
47. posed as a model for purposes of erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit art?
48. asked someone to pose nude or semi nude for private drawings, paintings or photographs as a 'favor'?
49. asked someone to pose nude or semi nude in public (e.g. art classes) as a 'favor'?
50. asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit art or photographs?
51. asked someone to pose for erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit photographs and there was no film in the camera?
52. made lewd, licentious or suggestive gestures while dancing in public?
53. helped to cover for someone's escapades (provide alibi, accommodations, opportunity)?
54. been besieged by someone who thought they could satisfy you and make an honest person of you?
55. been late to work, class or an appointment because you were involved in sexual activity?
56. read anything by the Marquis de Sade?
57. been nicknamed for a behavior pattern of yours ('Sleepy')?
58. been nicknamed for an aberrant behavior pattern of yours ('Sleazy')?
59. been interrupted by the police while necking, and they were more embarrassed than you?
60. been an exhibitionist?
61. had sexual activity with siblings (brother or sisters not your own)?
62. had sexual activity simultaneously with both (or however many) siblings?
63. had sexual activity with twins?
64. both simultaneously?
65. had sexual activity with triplets (or more)?
66. however many simultaneously?
67. had sexual activity with a parent and child, not your own (mother/daughter, father/son, mother/son, father/daughter)?
68. both simultaneously?
69. shaved your head?
70. shaved your pubic region (pits don't count)?
71. have someone else shave your pubic region?
72. shaved someone else's pubic region?
73. shaved your or somebody else's pubic region into a design or shape (star, moon, heart, bear-trap, etc)?
74. colored or bleached your pubic region?
75. had sex during menstruation?
76. performed oral sex on a menstruating woman (or been the woman)?
77. had sex while the woman had a yeast infection?
78. performed oral sex on a woman with a yeast infection (or been the woman)?
79. performed oral sex on someone who was urinating at the time?
80. mooned or goosed someone you knew?
81. mooned or goosed someone you didn't know?
82. mooned or goosed someone you thought you knew?
83. 'pounced' somebody (You're gonna fuck me NOW!)?
84. belched (obnoxiously) in general public?
85. farted (audibly) in general public?
86. stimulated your partner anally (with your finger, vibrator or whatnot)?
87. been stimulated anally (with a finger, vibrator or whatnot)?
88. 'basted' somebody (definition in Autoerotica section)?
89. had somebody 'baste' you?
90. had a spouse, posslq, or date leave you for someone of their gender (e.g. your husband left you for another man)?
91. left a spouse, posslq, or date for someone of your gender?
92. picked your nose in public?
93. picked someone else's nose?
94. had someone else pick your nose?
95. sexually harassed someone (e.g. made unwanted sexual advances)?
96. graded someone's act of sexual harassment?
97. handed out condoms as party favors?
98. discussed favorite brand of condom?
99. comparison shopped for condoms (plain or ribbed)?
100. inflated a condom?
101. chosen a condom or spermicide for its taste (or lack thereof)?
102. bought condoms?
103. bought condoms by the case (wholesale, not just the 'family pack')?
104. saved used condoms (for the memories, resale value, whatever)?
105. bought any other birth control item (contraceptive jelly or foam, or the pill)?
106. bought any other birth control item in bulk (the Pill, unless you got it for more than one month at a time, doesn't count)?
107. borrowed/stolen/taken birth control from your or somebody else's parents?
108. used Coke as a contraceptive douche?
109. carried a condom 'just in case'?
110. bought a home pregnancy test?
111. tasted your own sexual fluids?
112. tasted another's sexual fluids?
113. complimented someone on their taste?
114. been complimented on your taste?
115. been in a situation where semen (yours or somebody else's) was shot over someone's head?
116. where it hit a wall?
117. where it hit the ceiling?
118. where it hit somebody's face?
119. where it went in somebody's eye?
120. where it went up somebody's nose?
121. where it went in somebody's food or drink?
122. had your ears pierced?
123. had your nose pierced?
124. pierced someone else's ears?
125. pierced someone else's nose?
126. worn body paint?
127. painted somebody?
128. lit your partner's crotch aflame?
129. worn obscene or suggestive t-shirts?
130. worn t-shirts with obscene or graphic messages in a language you didn't read?
131. written dirty fortune cookie fortunes?
132. have you a tattoo?
133. have you an 'obscene' tattoo (words or pictures)?
134. have you a tattoo normally concealed by your clothing (George Shultz has a tiger on his butt)?
135. have you a tattoo in an intimate location?
136. have you a tattoo normally concealed by your pubic hair?
137. used any object, longer than it is wide, for sexual purposes (Coke bottle, rolling pin or feather duster)?
138. used a feather or other tickling device for the sexual arousal of someone?
139. been to a funeral as a form of entertainment (aka Harold of 'Harold & Maude')?
140. Do you consider sex the price a woman has to pay for being married ('just close your eyes and think of England')?
141. used ice for sexual purposes?
142. used a frozen object (not ice cubes) as a dildo (popcicle, icicle, etc)?
143. used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
144. put gravy, syrup, honey or other spreadable food on your partner and licked or eaten it (things go better with butter)?
145. had spreadable food put on you and eaten, or licked off?
146. used oils (baby, Wesson, etc) for a body rub?
147. used erotic lotions (motion lotion, etc) for a body rub?
148. used kiwis (the fruit, bird, or shoe polish - doesn't matter) for sexual purposes?
149. used any food for sexual purposes?
150. shoved food in a female's naughty bits?
151. shoved food up your or somebody else's rectum?
152. eaten the food after it was used in the above mentioned activities?
153. used a vibrator for sexual stimulation?
154. bought ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
155. given or received ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
156. used an artifical limb for sexual purposes?
157. asked someone to wear a particular article of clothing not because it was 'sexy' but because it turned you on?
158. worn colored underwear (other than white or pink)?
159. worn bikini briefs?
160. worn bikini briefs with patterns on them (tiger stripes, etc.)?
161. worn edible underwear?
162. eaten edible underwear off of somebody else?
163. worn lingerie?
164. worn leather lingerie?
165. worn rubber lingerie?
166. worn fishnets (complete with garter belt)?
167. worn somebody else's lingerie?
168. made garments out of shaved pubic hair (mittens, sweaters, etc)?
169. tried to figure out the words to 'Louie Louie'?
170. Been to a John Water's film (Pink Flamingos, anything starring Divine)?
171. more than once?
172. seen Eraserhead?
173. more than once?
174. seen The Wall?
175. more than once?
176. seen A Clockwork Orange?
177. more than once?
178. thought of becoming a Veterinary because your first love died of hoof & mouth?
179. had sex in the presence of animals?
180. had animals walk on you while you were having sex?
181. thought of becoming a vegetarian because the saddest day in you life was when your first love was sent to market?
182. thought to make a contribution to science in similar fashion to Madame D'Stael?
183. urinated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or receptacle (i.e. in a sink, fireplace, wastepaper basket, the family glove compartment)?
184. urinated off of a bridge or tall building?
185. defecated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or receptacle (i.e. in a fireplace, car seat, wastepaper basket, or salad spinner)?
186. tasted or eaten shit?
187. more than once?
188. tasted or drunk urine?
189. more than once?
190. kept unmarked biology specimens in the refrigerator?
191. kept feces (crap) in the refrigerator (lab specimens do not count)?
192. kept feces anywhere in your dwelling (under your bed, in your dresser, etc)?